I started this blog years ago as an outlet for my disappointment with adoption and then as an outlet for my elation with adoption and then continued writing after a devastating miscarriage. Since then it has evolved and changed to be more of a “hey this is what I am learning, this is what we are up to” type of blog.”
The hardest part about maintaining this blog is knowing how much to share. Sometimes, I think I share too much, and other times I think I don’t share enough. Earlier this week I struggled with stating that I don’t really have a burning desire to read my Bible and pray. After posting that I was terrified that others would judge me for making that statement in such a public manner. Often I find myself editing what I write because of what others may think.
Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting to talk about my life. Sometimes, I feel like a lair by omission because I omit many things that I want to say in my post. I don’t post some things that are happening because I don’t want to seem like I am bragging. I don’t post some of the bad things because in the past (right after a miscarriage) I was blasted for not being able to move on.
During the past few weeks I have come to realize that it is okay for me to want to share my story. It is okay to talk about the great things in life, and it is okay to talk about the bad things in life. Sometimes we need to share our stories so that we can be an encourager to others. Sometimes we need to share our stories so that others can come along side of us in order to be our encouragers.
I won’t be filtering my thoughts as much anymore because it no longer matters to me what others think about me.