It is not a secret that I am a highly emotional, sensitive, and vocal person. For many years I hid these parts of my personality. Over time I have learned that in order for me to function without driving myself crazy I have to quit hiding these parts of myself. When I hide parts of my personality I am not really being true to myself.
Right now I feel like no one understands me except my husband. I feel like others in my life wish I would just shut up get over it and move on with my life. I am trying to move on but every time I take a few steps forward something happens to push me ten steps back. I feel rejected by many in my life, but that’s okay because I am never rejected by my husband or my God.
I think it is amazing that the bible study I am doing right now lines up perfectly with how I feel day by day. This weekend I had a melt down that no one understands with the exception of my husband and 1 close friend. I don’t think very many others truly want to understand how and why I feel the way I do. During my devotional time today I focused on this verse:
He was despised and rejected– A man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care (Isaiah 53:3).
This verse tells me that God has been where I am and he understands how I feel. During his greatest time of sorrow he was rejected by those who said they loved him. God knows and understands how I feel. When I feel rejected by others and when I feel like no one else cares I know that he cares. The reality is that I don’t need to have those here on earth care or accept, although it would be nice. As a person who values accepting and caring for others it is hard for me to accept this fact. It is necessary for me to realize that many others do not have the capacity or desire to care for or accept those who who struggle.
In the grand scheme of things people here do not matter when it comes to caring about me or accepting me. All that matters is that God cares and he accepts me for who I am. We are charged as Christians to care for each other. When those in our lives fail to do that, we have to somehow be alright with it and know that God provides the ultimate care for the sorrows in our lives. Being a highly sensitive caring person that is easier said than done, I am going to try to remember that during the coming days.
Donna, I am so glad that you are hearing from the Lord as you travel this difficult road. I am praying and trusting that the He shows Himself to you. It is a real person with a real faith who struggles and overcomes but does not faint when even her heart is torn from her chest. I do not begin to try to tell you how to live, just know that I am supporting you in prayer, rejoicing with you on good days, and sad with you on bad.
Always, Susan
Susan-
Your continued prayers are appreciated. All I can do is take it one day at a time one step at a time. I know that this will pass and better days lay ahead for me.
That 1st paragraph says so much. I cant even say it